Lets Play Pretend

Lets pretend that you are a Fruitbat.

Lets pretend that you found yourself with one whole day off.  As in you had nothing on any agenda.  You can’t even remember the last time this happened to you.  What would you do?

First, I am going to assume, that you would stay here for as long as humanly possible.

Das where I sleep

After you erected yourself, you may make your way to a yoga practice;

Ooo, artsy lighting

In your Jimmy Jams of course.

Ooo, no actually this one is just regs.

When you were all good and yoga sweaty (because there is no other sweat like a yoga sweat don’tcha know?) , you might then change your clothes, put on your new “rain boots”

Rain shoes. Baby Sister, if I get wet in these...

And head to, oh I don’t know, maybe this place?

They all know my first and last name, and social security number here.

On your way there, you might stop to contemplate what these are;

But seriously, what are they?

And if death would be certain upon eating one.

It is possible that you would walk around the market, being tempted to buy such things as this guy;

One Dalla water melon!

and these;

Magical pricey dates

But instead, you will wind up with a back pack full of mangoes and cherries.

This weighed a million pounds. My shoulders are still sore.

After carrying your back pack full of mangoes and cherries around the market for a bit longer, you may realize that you need a steaming cup of tea;

Man guys, chai roobois, so amazing

and a moment by the sea;

Seriously, this is where I live.

to gather your strength before you carry your loot home.  By gather your strength, I mean eat the random goose berries that were in with your cherries.

What chew doin in there goosie guy?

A small bird could come and tell you his life’s woes, to which you will listen intently;

He tweeted me for real. Get it, get it?!

In order to drown out the sounds of ABBA covers from the music man in the tent.

Why ABBA guy?! Just so much why.

On your way back to your home, it is very likely that you would stop at your favorite government institution;

One of the most flammable buildings in town attached to a fire station. Good planing Van-City.

To pick up some walk-reading material.  Because you may be one of the apples that did not fall far from her mamas tree.

My mom reads 14 books at a time.

A noteable snack may then ensue;

Orange obsessed much?

Complete with juice.

Frothy goodness in mah belly

Doing a good deed;

Vegan peanut butter pancakes what?!

For your favorite people on earth may follow.

My little refugees.

After all of that, you may sit and beg ask your Love in a lady like tone to take you to the place where pay checks go to die, and Kombutcha is plentifully filling the shelves.

Leaning tower of booooootch,

Dinner may look like all your favorite things;

Papaya! Papaya!

My little seedy guys!

All that's missing is durian.

And you may go to bed, rested and refreshed and ready for the next days task list.

Or something like that.


6 thoughts on “Lets Play Pretend

  1. Thanks to your blog I now know just what guavas look like. No idea what they taste like, though. I’ll just go out on a limb and say they’re sweet, but that’s all I can guess. Maybe exotic tasting.
    Also, holy jealous of your ripe papaya. Also also, do you count calories? I really try to but I can’t ever seem to get enough. I always plan on it, of course, but I never have enough time to get all the stuff I need to do done before work (I realize that didn’t make any sense but I have to go work out like, ten minutes ago so NO TIME. Then again the more I say, “I have no time,” the less time I’ll have. Ah, the power of your words. I must work on choosing them more wisely) and I don’t have time to eat at work. As in even with my hours worth of breaks I still can’t finish a 12 banana smoothie that took me a good half hour to make in my piece of shit blender (no praise will change its blending capacity, or holding capacity for that matter) aka the So-Not-Magic Bull(sh)et. K BYE.

  2. I would say, work on increasing your stomach capacity gradually. Work from where you are now, adding 100 cals every week or two. Eventually you will be downing those smoothies like it is your job! You just need to work in getting used to eating that much. It is an adjustment, give yourself time.
    Guavas are sweet, but they are also tart! I love them so much!

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